People lie about their health all the time, the only thing you can do is this!
Your sexual health is the most important to enjoy a long decade-lasting active sex life. Do not be ignorant and take proactive steps to protect yourself.
"Are you healthy?" - if I get this kind of message it always makes me wanna scream, because a few things come to mind instantly:
- Nobody is answering this question truthfully.
- People who are the least educated in sex health are worried the most.
- Revealing my own health status is nobodies business - remember when the dating app Grindr hat this leak where they exposed the HIV status of million of their members?
- Even a HIV-positive undetectable person can be healthy.
- Some HIV-positive undetectable, no-drug users are often healthier than HIV-negative drug heads.
- Talking about health issues most often instantly kills the sex-hook-up-vibe so most people will not talk about it.
The only true thing you do is this: educate yourself, get tested regularly and monitor your own health
The harsh truth is this, people lie about anything online, their age, their dick size, their relationship status - and not surprisingly: their health.
A lot of people are uneducated and just hope "it will not hit them", whatever that is supposed to mean. If you have people that obsessing with getting sucked only with a condom on (that do not know the real really really low risk of infections someone does get that is the guy who is getting sucked versus the one that is sucking, and even the receiving part has less risk compared to anal sex for example!), then it is a sign of someone not being educated.
People who talk about other people being "clean" or using other vague language or talking about AIDS when that is the final stage of nowadays the rare last months, weeks or days of someone dying with HIV-complications.
People who demand written proof of health certificates, too.
I know there are strange laws in different countries, but here is a safe way to communicate things right. You say that you are using PREP. And if you like to use condoms, tell them it is part of your fetish and do not talk about health measures.
Assuming things is the worst
Assuming that the other person is like you is the worst.
Scenario: Guy A is HIV-Positive and undetectable and likes to have bare sex. Guy B is HIV-Negative or at least thinks he is it, because he is "hoping he is". Nobody talks about health. Guy A thinks "Great, the other guy is educated and taking care of himself.", Guy B thinks "He is not talking about health, so I assume he is HIV-negative and disease free".
How often to get tested? Start this week!
If you have a lot of sex, get tested for HIV at least every 6 months, and best also for Syphillis (ask specifically for it, often it is not automatically included in regular STDs testing) and once a year for all major known sexually transmitted diseases.
There are many anonymous test centers where you do not have to give out your real name to get started. This is not optional, this is something you should start doing THIS WEEK if you have never done so!
You do not test for showing it to anyone else, JUST FOR YOURSELF!
What to Look For
Lookup worldwide via
- Community-based organizations (CBOs) often offer walk-in anonymous testing - Checkpoint networks (Google for your area or ask a privacy minded AI)
- PrEP clinics usually do comprehensive STI panels
- University health centers (for students)
- Mobile testing vans — common in major cities, often completely anonymous
- USA gettested.cdc.gov
- Europe ecdc.europa.eu
- UK nhs.uk
Good looking guys mean nothing - a lot of disease is invisible
The most shocking thing is that Syphilis is on the rise world wide and many guys do not know about it. The big issue is that Syphilis comes with HIDDEN SYMPTOMS and it only looks like you are having a harmless skin rash, flu-like illness, night sweats, vision changes or floaters (I have a friend who lost 95% of his left eye sight because of a too late diagnosed Syphilis , and the treatment would have been easy, fast and inexpensive!).
Latent syphilis has zero symptoms. You feel fine for years while it attacks your heart, brain, nerves, and bones. By the time tertiary symptoms show (dementia, gait problems, aneurysm), the damage is permanent.
Never reveal your HIV-Status, ever
It is not smart to share your HIV-Status ever. It enables people to blackmail you if you do not use proper privacy protection measures (starting for example of NOT USING YOUR REAL name with people that you only meet for one time!)
Kevin Cummings
Grindr shared sensitive health data (HIV status, test dates, PrEP usage) with third-party vendors and advertising companies between 2018 and 2021 without proper user consent, potentially for targeted advertising purposes.
Tom Singleton & Imran Rahman-Jones
DONT LIVE IN CONSTANT PANIC - solve the gap in your Know-How and become calm and have inner peace by knowing your status
It can mean that you discover that you are HIV-positive without knowing. It can mean you are STDs free at all. Just be honest and find to your inner peace and be at a point where you do not need to blame yourself for making stupid decisions based on wrong or missing data. If you are active in sex, sooner or later you will catch something, it is just the normal flow of things - but: if you are educated you can take counter measures quick and stay HIV-negative if you are using PREP for example.
PS: I am not a medical professional and this website is not medical advice. See your official doctor and educate yourself properly.
If needed, use this PRIVACY AI to talk about your concerns.
TIP: Upload pictures of skin rashes and other concerning areas of your body using this AI will give you interesting feedback as a FIRST START (not replacing medical consultations!), and getting help is essential!
If you want to live an unrestricted sex life without fear there is no shortcut, you need to get yourself educated and regularly monitored. And you do not have to proof anything to anyone else, but yourself. Again, all your testing is not for proving anything to anyone else, and if someone is putting pressure on you to reveal "your health" status, rather block that person and disconnect from them. Once you are confident and meet people for real and have regular fuck buddies, then you can share your health status.
There are of course especially dating apps that have a focus on bare sex and meeting people that are educated about their health status such as
